I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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