for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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