i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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