just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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