Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
