Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
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