Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
