I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
We had to coat check the pizza.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
try to milk me bitch
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
