this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize
