I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
