So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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