Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
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