google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
