I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
