Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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