I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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