IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
