Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
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Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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