it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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