I think I just saw someone hide a body.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Randomize
