My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
He better not be in your backpack
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
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