They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
i've created a new STD.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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