Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
