I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Randomize
