If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
