You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
why does every cop we meet know your name?
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