I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
