my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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