i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka?
Forever.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
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