I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize