In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
It's Friday. Sex?
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
