Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
