I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
