The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
