chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
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