how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
