So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
