Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Randomize
