Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
