She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
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