I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
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