Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
