If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
