All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
