We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
