Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
