He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
