I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Randomize
