Your tits are I can't wait for
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
