I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
