do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
