Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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