So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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