I swear she didn't look like that last week.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
