Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
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