Tell her she can't have a vagina
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize