i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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