i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
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Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
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I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
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