Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Where did you get a picture of my penis
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize