their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
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