Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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